вторник, 29 сентября 2020 г.

Covid 19 and our loss


In April 30th we have lost our aunt Mukarram. And I made my first digital Story about her. And even i wrote a letter to her.


My dear aunt Mukarram,

I have to admit that this is not going to be easy. I am going to shed some tears while writing this letter. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. You will be greatly missed. In April month despite WHO recommendations, the government has not announced an official quarantine in the country but there were people dying from two-sided pneumonia. By the end of the month, this disease Covid-19 came to our country. And we were not ready and hospitals had not necessary things to protect themselves and cure patient. You were the first victims of the first wave of Covid-19.On April 30. 2020 I had a phone call. It was very sad news. At that moment, I thought about my mother. How she will be after this news. I could not call her and say this news. She lost her younger sister last year. Then, I called to your elder daughter Nargis, she was crying, and we cried together. Then she could not talk and gave phone to Parvina I asked her how it happened. She told me that you had high temperature for several days and you cure yourself at home. Your children told you do not go to work and stay home. But you did not listen to them as you were very dedicated and committed to your work. You really loved your profession and worked until the last breath. You know when Parvina came and saw you in bad condition you had a high temperature, your blood pressure was high and she and your son Aziz asked you to go to the hospital. You said NOO Do not take me to the hospital!! You knew that the hospitals were in not good conditions but your children took you to the hospital. You said if I die, I want to die in my house not there away from your children. How you did not want to go to the hospital.

Dear aunt I have the best memories of you. You always will be in my heart. Do you know when I was in the third grade, our elementary teacher asked me to write a short essay about our future profession. I wrote I want to be a doctor like my aunt. I like to wear a white robe and be a useful person and give advice to people and be helpful.

I have another moment in my life connected with you, which I feel ashamed of. When I was in the 7th grade do you remember I had something red on my left eye, as a red spot?it grew bigger? My mother and I did some folk medicine and it did not help. We went to Dushanbe to your house for advice because you were always helped us with health issues. You looked at my eye and blamed my mother for being careless. You were very strict. You yelled at my mother. You said: “she is a girl!  This eye will make her shy and embarrassed.  She will never feel normal among her friends.  They will mock her and she will develop a complex.  Even if someone would marry this girl with a bad eye, she will never agree.”  You were totally right.

Your son Parviz my cousin who was studying at the Medical University knew some doctors told my mother to stay at home and we together went to the hospital but the Chief Doctor was not there.  I stayed with my aunt and my mother left.  On Monday, Parviz and I went to the hospital.  The chief doctor looked at my eye and said she could operate on this serious problem with my parents’ permission. But my father was always with his friends and my mother had too many responsibilities—her children, her husband, her mother-in-law, her job. You were so angry, complaining, and blaming my parents. Then your husband came to one solution.  I will never forget that moment. He said WE are not going to return this girl home with this serious problem.  We are going to solve this.  We are going to be her parents.  He said that you and he would go and sign the permission on Tuesday.   I am so thankful to your husband he returned my beauty and give me the opportunity to live without complex. But I understand that you were afraid and did not take the responsibility because it is eye and might have consequences. That day when you sign the document you became my mother.

 

At that time, I did not even understand what beauty was or now important my eyes were.  The life after the operation gave me inspiration and strength to make my own choices.  

I became an English teacher and worked in Community Health; I traveled internationally;  I chose my husband, I had sons.

.I want to tell you that I became everything you had hoped for. But one thing that troubles me in my heart is I promised you that I would name my son after your husband Zulfiqor.  Now you are gone. 

If I am blessed with another son, I will name him Zulfiqor. 

My dear Aunt I will make dua in my prayers for you.

I can understand your children now. They are missing you so much. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things in life. Actually, it is the hardest thing ever. You no longer get to see their face, hear their voice, or cherish your time with them. Instead, you are saved by memories, phone calls, and photographs. You have to rely on everything you have experienced with that person to remember them.

You are a hero for me.  The motto of your life was saving the lives of others.

Rest in Peace

You will be always in my thoughts.

Zebo

Your niece,

5/08/2020



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